So my Blogspot is now up and running. :]

www.rikkyso.blogspot.com

Exactly the same as this address here, but instead of WordPress, it’s Blogspot. See? Not hard. :]

 xoxo

What do I mean to you?

Do you even care?

Do I even matter?

Or was I just a waste of time?

Woo hoo! Finished all assignments! Yayy! But now there are just the exams to go… :S There’s CS, Music, SST, English and Maths. I’m most worried about Maths… :S I have absolutely no idea what we’re doing this term…

My sister has only one day left of the term, and of Year 12. She’s going to Wet’n'Wild with her friends tomorrow… So envious… ><

Anyway. It kinda hurts when the person who you thought knew you the most asks you questions that make you seem… I don’t know. When you asked me those questions today, it kinda made me upset, cos I thought you knew me better than that. I never would’ve thought that you’d think I’d do something like that to you? Do I really seem like that kind of person to you? :S I call those kind of actions betrayal- even if you’re not physically doing it. You know how important you are to me, and I would never do anything like that to hurt you.

Anyway, here are some photos from the weekend:-

Me and Ruby. :]

And again. :]

Rocky and me. :]

Eating ice cream. :]

Me, Mum and Dad in the cinemas. Not during the movie, of course… ><

Rocky, Ruby and me. :]

Haha, Rainbow, your comment to my “Reminiscence” post made me smile. :] Thank you. :] Yeah, I really appreciate how we can at least still have casual conversations with each other. At least the friendship’s not all dead. Thank you so much. :] xoxo

That you can just use,

Then carelessly throw away;

I have feelings, too. </3

We went to South Bank last night and watched “2012“. It’s alright… A few parts of the movie were pretty… intense? If that’s the right word… :S It was really long, though… Nearly 3 hours… :S I was so tired after the movie… :S

Anyway.

I really don’t have much else to write about today. The title of this entry really explains everything else that I want to say… :S

I was so full of energy just before, it wasn’t even funny. It was so weird… Lol. I started doing random Indian dances in the car. Hahahah. I felt like a retard. My sister, brother and I joked that it would’ve been funny if someone in the car driving past us saw, cos they would seriously have been like, “WTF?” :]

I could’ve made it on YouTube. And be famous. Yayy. :]

*sigh* It’s so weird. My random outburst of high-ness… I wonder how long this will last… Lol.

But, yeah. Kwan complimented me just before. Which was a first- in the… 5 years, at least, that I’ve known him… Hahah. It’s made my day. :] I told him I would treasure the text forever. Lol.

Anyway, twin. I commented on your cbox, and like I said, I really don’t mind that you won’t tell me what happened. Cos I know you’re scared I’ll judge you. I’m telling you now, though, as long as it’s not those three things that I said in Maths, it can’t be that bad. But, still, you don’t have to tell me. :] Like I also said before, I respect your space. I don’t expect you to tell me everything. :] Keep smiling! xD (Ohh, ex-dee. Haha!)

Have a good weekend. :]

xoxo

And, sometimes, I just want to be left alone.

I’m going to write an honest and D and M kind of entry today…

Hmm… I’ve been reminiscing a lot lately. Like, I go into random daydreams and just start thinking about… stuff. In a way, some of them are flashbacks from things that have happened in this past year. I guess it’s cos… like, this time a year ago, we were at Ballon, and that’s something for me to look back on, so I can see how much has changed in a year… If that makes sense? I dunno. So much has changed, though. Some things for the better, some for the worse.

I feel like I’ve lost so much… My friendships with some people especially. There are people who I hardly even talk to anymore. And it sucks. Namely,- Alison, Hayley, Bree Hutton, Bree Stewart, Madi, Chloe, Rainbow, Jess.R- just to name a few. I miss you guys so much.

And, somehow, I feel like it’s my fault that these friendships have died. Maybe it’s my fault cos I didn’t put enough effort into the friendships? Maybe I didn’t hold on tight enough- maybe I shouldn’t have let them slip away. Maybe I need to re-study my priorities- and get them right. I need to remember what’s important to me. But I don’t know anymore.

I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore…

Anyway. Everyone seems to be upset about one thing or another these days… And I’m no exception. I guess everyone just has their problems…

*sigh*

I hate it when you’re having a really good day, then suddenly, someone says something, or just one little thing happens, and everything starts going downhill. You feel like your whole world is suddenly crashing down on top of you. Then you look around to find someone to help you up, but there’s no one there. Because everyone else is involved/buried in some other problem of their own. So then you have to pull yourself up and forget about your problems for a while, cos you need to help them. But once they’re fine and unhurt again, you look back at yourself- and your injuries are still there. Your problems are still there. You can manage to help other people, but you can never seem to help yourself. But you can’t let other people see that you’re hurt. You want them to think that you’re okay. So you put on a brave face, fake a smile, fake a laugh and keep living.

Cos the world won’t stop spinning. Life just goes on…

</3

The looks you shoot me;

they can kill.

I hate it when people are upset, but they won’t tell you what’s wrong. You don’t want to keep asking, cos it’s obvious they don’t want to tell you. It makes you feel like you can’t do anything about it. It makes you feel so worthless… Like, somehow, it’s your fault. But you don’t even know where you went wrong in the first place…

*sigh*

Anyway. Overall, today has been a pretty good day.

SST this morning was pretty much spent just watching the other teams play, cos our team was ref-ing today. It’s actually still funy to just watch the other teams play. So intense. Lol. :]

CS was so boring. Seriously. Not even worth writing about.

Double music was okay. We watched the beginning of the movie “Amadeus”, which is basically the movie of Mozart’s life… The first scene had a gruesome part in it. I wasn’t expecting it, so I jumped… It was scary. In the second lesson of the double, we worked on our composition assignments. It’s due on Monday, and we’re meant to write for 4 instruments, right? I’ve written for 2 so far… :S I’m soo screwed!

Media was alright. Most people had to go up and do their 1 to 2 minute talks on a new technology, and the impact and stuff. I haven’t done mine yet. Never have I felt so glad that my last name is later on in the alphabet. :]

Drama was fun. Ms Gado showed us this little booklet that the grade 1′s had made for us. They each wrote a thank you note, and drew a pictures, from when we performed our performance for them last, last week. Hehe. The pictures are soo cute! I got mentioned once. :] One of the kids said something like, “I liked the witch.” Hahahah. :] Oh, one little kid said, “I liked the Prince because he was handsome.” Hahah. We congratulated Monique cos she obviously did well in acting like a guy. Hahah. :]

We then started doing some work on physical theatre- which is basically, like, using your body and movements to convey a particular feeling, emotion… that kind of thing. We played a simple game first, which was interesting. Then we split into groups and had to act out 3 of the 4 elements- fire, water and wind (we didn’t do earth cos that’s kinda hard to act out…).

After that activity, we did another one where Ms Gado played us a short part of a song, and we had to interpret that music and add movements to it. Not like dancing, but just adding movements and stuff. Lol, it was fun. :]

Oh, yeah. Hahahah, at lunchtime today… Omg, I laughed so much… Talked to Huldah, Meera,  Emma, Emmeline and Madi about random things… We started talking about food… And then lollies… And doughnuts… Lol. It made me want to eat, even though I wasn’t even hungry… 

Haha, Meera and Emma were telling us how they have to make their biology presentation thing “entertaining”, so they were saying how they were gonna randomly just start telling jokes. Emma told us one where it was:-

Q: What do you call a camel with no humps?

A: Humphrey (Hump-free)

Hahahah, and then Emmeline was like, “Oh, is it like Humphrey the egg?” All of us were like, “Err…” Then I was like, “Oh, no, that’s Humpty!” Hahaha, that was epic. :]

Omg, omg, omg. Something more epic- at one stage, Alana, Stacey, Praveena and Caragh came over, and Alana was like, “Look at my art!” and showed us a painting that she did randomly. Meera was like, “Limbo!” And right after she said that, Emma, probably mis-hearing Meera, said, “Windooowww,” and started singing this random, nursery-rhyme kind of song. Lol. It was soo weird. Hahah, I just cracked up laughing. I think it was also the way that she sang the song that made it so funny. Hahahaha. :]

“Tell me what you’re really here for,

If you never really loved me.

I gave my all, but it still wasn’t enough.

Cos all you had to say was that you ain’t,

Looking for commitment,

Instead of telling me what I wanted to hear.

You took my emotions,

And scattered them on the ground.

So hard to just pick up,

And move on with life again.”

To see how much things have changed.

Those jokes and the laughs;

Things will never be the same. </3

We had a party in Home Group this morning, cos it’s the Year 12′s last long home group… Well, it wasn’t really much of a party. I mean, we had food and some music, but no one was exactly in the mood. Lol.

Double maths this morning was alright. I did a bit of work, but then just couldn’t be bothered after the first lesson, so I just started writing quotes in my diary…

Haha, Ci-wan’s funny. He just has random outbursts and just points at me and laughs. Lol. Then he told Emmeline and me that he hasn’t been keeping it safe with Lindsay… Hahah. He’s so funny. :]

SST was okay… We played 2 games… Lost one, and won one, I think… I don’t know- I wasn’t really paying attention… :S

“為你附出那種傷心，你永远不了解…”

Playing around with the lighting cos Emmeline said she looked too black. Lol.

 For some reason, I can’t rotate this picture…

P.S. I hope you find your phone soon, twin… :S

Nothing lasts forever.

I’m sorry, I can’t be perfect.”

In Drama today, we watched our performance, which was filmed. As it usually is, it was excruciating to watch myself on the screen. Especially when I knew that the parts where I’d stuffed up were coming up. That was just horrible… But there were parts in the performance that I had actually never seen before, cos I’d been backstage even during rehearsals. It was the first time I’d seen the scene where “Prince” and “Cinderella” are in the forest and the Prince gets Cinderella some water on a leaf. And I hadn’t actually seen the way that Tenneal had drunk the water from the leaf- until we watched the video again today. I laughed so hard. Lol. It was epic. :]

In Maths, I actually did work… Surprise, surprise. :]

English was… enthralling. (Heavy sarcasm used there.) Seriously, in “Lord of the Flies”, the author probably didn’t even mean to add all those “symbols” in the book. Okay, so the main message he had was that there’s evil in every one of us- and that it’s part of human nature. But did he even mean to say that Piggy’s glasses are a symbol of intelligence and logic, and that the conch shell is a symbol of authority and order? etc. etc? Probably not.

Ugh, who even cares?

Anyway, P.E. was pretty boring. Just played tennis… I don’t like tennis. And I suck at it.

Haha, at lunchtime today, Rachel Delahaye and Meera and Brittany were playing celebrity heads. At one stage, Rachel thought of “Mickey and Minnie Mouse” for Brittany and Meera. And then when they asked the questions about their “person”‘s hair, Rachel was like, “… They don’t have hair. They’re bald.” Or something along the lines of that. Lol. It was so funny. :]

And then we started having staring competitions (see, this is how bored we all get… :] ). Rachel kept losing. Hahah. :] When the bell went for lunch to end, Rachel was like, “Okay, okay. I’m not gonna laugh until I get to the library.” (That’s the direction we were walking towards.) Lol, let’s just say that she failed miserably. We both cracked up laughing, like, 5 times at least before we even got to the library. Haha. You had to be there. :]

Oh, I got the two group pictures from Courtney’s MySpace. Here they are. :]

Lol…

Would you even notice?

I’m still finishing off my Media assignment now. Pretty much just bull-crapping about stuff. I don’t even know what to write anymore. I’ve completely gone off the original topic… :S

*      *      *      *      *      *

Woo! Finally finished! I just re-read the article. Let’s just say that it starts off pretty good. Then near the end, it doesn’t even make sense anymore… *sigh* Oh well. At least I’ve got something to hand in.

Anyway, I’ve been in a pretty weird mood all day today. And yesterday, for that matter. It’s, like… Up and down. My mood, I mean. Like, one minute, I feel happy, then the next something happens to make me feel down and worthless again.

*sigh*

I don’t know. It sometimes just feels like… No one cares? And sometimes I wonder, if something happened to me, would people even notice? Would they even miss me?

Wow, that sounds so emo, but that’s really how I feel… :S

I just feel so worthless right now. And it sucks. I hate this feeling.